1. Take control and break free of this ‘love addiction’

Spending a significant amount of time with anyone results in attachment. A relationship becomes a habit and one gets addicted to, if not that person, then at least the routine that he/she shares with him or her. Just like any other addiction, love is difficult to conquer. It takes time, devotion and discipline to break free. You can’t be expected to immediately spring back from heartbreak. Break ups are difficult and getting over one not only requires time but also discipline and strength to let go in order to move on. Understand that it was not meant to be, know that better opportunities are out there and be certain that your ideal partner somewhere out there.


2. Break off and minimise the possibility of any future contact

Delete their number and if you’ve memorized it then make sure you don’t call or text them. Don’t check their social media, avoid places you two visited and replace activities the two of you shared with new ones.  In order to move on it’s crucial to stay away from triggers which might take you back to that time. Check yourself and avoid anything that might result in further heartache. You don’t deserve it. It over and its time to leave the past far behind where it belongs.


3. Surround yourself with positive people

Positive people encourage positive changes. It’s crucial to surround ourselves with inspirational role models. Achievers and doers can teach us that no matter how life threatening and destructive a turn, things do pick up. Life is too short to get bogged down on one crisis. Ups and down are part of life. Their optimism for the future shows us that everything has an expiration date, good or bad. We’re certainly a lot stronger than we deem ourselves to be and looking at them do what they preach shows us a path we too can walk.


4. Keep yourself distracted

There is nothing worse than being awake at 2 am rereading our ex’s texts and constantly thinking about him or her. This is so toxic. It depresses us, often forces us to write embarrassing texts we regret later and delays the healing process. It is crucial to make sure this does not happen. Stay active and involved the entire day. The more physically active you are the lesser your chances of being up at night. Aim at waking up earlier. There are so many things to do in the morning. If you’ve been thinking of starting your own business, this is the perfect time to do so. Your life just de-cluttered leaving you plenty of time to focus on your dreams.


5. Stop talking to everyone about it

The more you obsess over it, the worse it will be. Everyone hates that sad sob who is hung up on their ex and can’t utter a sentence without bringing them up. Most people usually don’t care. Our close friends do. But it’s also quite insensitive to put our friends through the torture of listening to the same stories retold with new epiphanies. The more you linger on a certain topic the tougher it is for you to move on. Vow to not discuss this topic and then don’t. When you feel the urge to talk about it force yourself to shut up. You have the power to forget and move on. Just stop torturing yourself by constantly activating the same neural pathways.


6. Start fresh and be awesome

Reinvent yourself and look the best you possibly can, meet new friends and take up new activities. Go to the gym and start focusing on your diet. Get a new haircut, get manis, and pedis, go for a massage. Being single means you have all the more time to focus on yourself. Look great. It’s true that it will annoy the hell out of your ex, but it will do wonders for you. A well taken care of body will result in a healthier happier mind.


7. Be ambitious

Focus on work and start thinking of projects to help you get further in your career. Heartbreak, for many people, has been a point where they change their lives and create great things. Remember your dreams which got lost when this dynamite of a person seemed to take your breath away? Well, the delusion of love should by now fade as it is time for reality to kick in. His or her awesomeness will dim in contrast to your achievements and hard work in the near future. That I can guarantee.


8. Don’t be so hard on yourself

Relationships are a two way street. If it didn’t work out it was because you two weren’t compatible not because you constantly messed up. We should take responsibility for our actions but unnecessary blame is unproductive. It was not your fault. Stop thinking of what could’ve been. Be glad that it happened, helped you grow as a person and taught you a valuable lesson in life.


9. Move on

If you’re not ready to date again, don’t force yourself. Just go out, travel and have fun. You only get to live once. Why waste time on someone who was meant to share only a portion of your life? There are so many more things to do than wait for the one. And when you’re ready to jump back in the sack, don’t hesitate. Take that leap of faith. Not every relationship is a disaster waiting to happen.


10. Stop reading posts like these

You need to move on, not constantly delve into why you two broke up or how to let go of the past. The self-help bit of the internet can only help you to a certain extent. If you know all these rules by heart and it’s been more than 3 months, then you really need to just let go of everything that even refers to ‘relationship’. Let the past stay in the past. Focus on yourself and prioritize your dreams and ambitions. Everyone is looking out for themselves. It’s time you learn to do the same.