Almost a year back I went through the toughest time of my life. It changed my attitude towards everything, including myself. Needless to say it certainly taught me more than I realised. I’m sure the lessons learnt were more than 4, but these are the ones I’m primarily conscious of.

1- Not all difficult times lead to growth: I truly believed that adversity helped us grow and being challenged by hard times made us a better and wiser person. Unfortunately, It is not always true. There are some hardships that cause us to regress and take away years of progress. They damage us so deeply that we may not be able to deal, mostly because we have no means of dealing with such a disaster. We might not have known such a problem or seen anyone else dealing with it. That is exactly why many people need professional help dealing with trauma. What doesn’t kill you may make you stronger, but it may also put you into the shrink’s chair. Don’t be afraid to seek help. Talk to close friends and family members. Seek out as many strong and helpful individuals as you can. You will be amazed what and who you find when you’re on the lookout.

2- Your perspective changes: From running 3 businesses to being a full-time mum, from having a big family composed primarily of my dogs, cats and chicken to watching the one who started it all die and having to give away the rest, from making more money than many make in a year to being dependant on others monetarily. I saw it all. And I lost it all. What happened? I stopped being afraid. I had lost it all and somehow I managed to handle everything on my own. I did it. I could do it. I truly did not need anyone to help me out. And those who did, those who were there…I would never ever forget them or what they did for me. When your greatest fear becomes a reality, there is truly nothing else that you need to be afraid of.

3- You truly understand what is valuable: Family matters to me over all else. That’s it. t’s more important than work, and social interactions. It trumps money, power and fame. And everyone around me automatically understood that. I protect and cherish those I love and care about. I believe family is not just those bound to you blood. It’s all those people who have been there and have stood by you no matter what. For me, it has even been some followers and fans.

4- You will survive and you’ll end up getting it all back and more: I wake up and whenever I look at my scar it seems to have healed a little bit more, it’s still there but it’s getting less noticeable each day. My Macbook got a new screen, my relative remarried, my friend set up her own business and I started fresh in a new city. That little wound will always be there and may never cease to exist but you will heal. You will rebuild, maybe not exactly what you lost but much like it. You will be making the same amount of money or more as long as you stay dedicated to learning and reinventing. You will have that family, love, and life you always wanted, maybe even had but lost. What is crucial to know and understand is that you will survive. You will get up and you will keep living.